robyn in real time

I’m the builder of this room
I’ve made it as big as it should be
Ive made it everything it should or could be
Today, right now, at this moment
he’s in my room
not even in a corner, but not in the middle, just in my room
I think about what pictures I could put on the wall…and when I glance at the wall he’s probably standing by it
I think about making the room larger, and he’s in the spot I could enlarge
how the hell did this happen
when did this man whore become a part of my life, I mean my room
I think about traveling and he’s there
doing things for myself and he’s there
first thought was that maybe he’s holding me back
its like something as attached itself to me and I can shake it off me for shit
I have paid for distractions
forced myself into other situations, but when I got back to my room, hes humbly standing, not sitting there
and he won’t say anything, we just awkwardly glance at each other from time to time
my looks are frustration, and he meets my eyes and looks away
he doesn’t have an ego or pride when he’s in my room, he’s the guy that has to hold onto me tight at night, and sneaks kisses
his words don’t match him being in my room, his words tell me he shouldn’t be in my room, that he doesn’t want to be
….fuck is he here for then?
keep living and going
Month 2, Day 23