December 2010
61 posts
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my transition →
at 17 i left home, and i never returned
and even now, at 32, and 35 min into christmas day 2010
i’m so fucking ready to go back to new york
i’ve been here since the 22nd and at, or around 5pm, i was ready to leave
its kind of a closure, where you stayed as long as needed
heard all the bullshit you can stand
been picked and prodded, over and over
condemned, judged, talked down...
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what got me caught up was when he played:
how ever do you want me, the acapella version, from the belly soundtrack
he blasted it in his car, and i was open
$920 for a celly? →
i wonder what the ones who dont really know would say after
they dont have much time left, so i could be with them forever
to say that i have 6 more months may make me say, oh shit, let me get on my grind
but i wouldn’t be getting on my grind anymore than i have been
i keep going and trying and working on it, and trying
it has been one of the hardest years i’ve encountered
so its...
“from this moment on, no more men who give great phone” -me”
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i contradict, myself, my needs, and all the thing i tell people
i might be a great bull shit artist
i’m the only one who would know to be honest
i just wrote something about faith and yada yada
and in the next moment i worried about next week, and the week, after,
what happened to all that faith i spewed a few minutes ago
i can call myself out
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whenever i read about someone striken with cancer or even the possibilities of cancer it paralyzes me immensely
i take there sadness in
i don’t understand it
its a powerless feeling and powerful killer
in the fight
aretha
“phrase of the day: thumb thuggin”
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